Response to Captain Capitalism: 6 reasons why our economy needs more Humanities Majors

#1 More English majors can prevent school shootings and other violent acts

Here's why:

There is only a one letter difference between laughter and slaughter.

Spelling is important when you run your own business. After all, is a big difference between: "All clients must be killed at once"
                          and "All clients must be billed at once."

Remember to study English in college kids, don't be a psycho.

#2 Theatre majors will make more entertaining shooters.

 Anyone who's bothered to watch Elliot Rogers videos has probably felt just as much pain seeing his acting as much as seeing what he's done. This pain can be prevented with more theatre majors. Had Elliot Roger studied Theatre his videos would have been more entertaining to watch.

#3 Avoiding math at all costs prevents these poor souls from destroying the       universe.

One of the first things I learned in math is zero divided by anything except zero is zero; and anything divided by zero will tear apart the space time continuum and kill us all. NOT studying math will literally save the universe! So Captain capitalism should be congratulating these true heroes on putting the universe before those selfish, capitalistic, greedy engineering majors who study these subjects to make money.

By the way, when I go study Ordinary differential equations next spring and you happen to see the universe tearing itself apart; please remember Harland Williams' line from Rocket Man: It wasn't me!!!!!!

#4 See #1

#5 See #2


#6 See #3